Friends & Disappointment
I believe the greatest disappointment that you can feel is those caused by people you held dearly to your heart. Which reminds me of this phrase " With no expectations there will be non disappointment". So i believe this entry will be full of expectations and disappointments.I do not expect friends to not be friends with anyone that I do not like. Cos this is just plain silliness.
But i do expect them to understand what hurt the person has caused me.
Even though i may have returned from NZ with the intentions of letting bygones bygones but if you were to come request me to patch things up just because of what she said about not attending outings because i attend them and not wanting to when your enemies are going, I expect you to understand that it not only hurts me cos it shows even when i am in NZ she is doing exactly what i hate about her and that is trying to get people on her side, making her seem like an angel and me the devil. And apparently since u guys came to ask me to patch up, i can see that she has succeeded. And it is not as if I did not attend outings cos she is going. So can someone tell me why and i ask WHY must i go patch up with her. May i congratulate you guys on opening almost healed wounds and making me cry buckets as my new year's gift.
Then you the person which i thought was my good friend comes to tell me about the dinner that i was not invited to cos she was invited. I have only one question in my mind. If you are my good friend, then should you not know that informing me of such stuff which just open fresh wounds.
Worse, you try to imply person A's not going to the dinner cos the person i detest is going is due to person A being my good friend. Even when i tell you that i do not go around influencing what others think. Then i am totally disappointed in you and seriously have nothing to say to you.
Xiaoyan says " Love those who are worth your love". Maybe it is time for me to reflect who are my true friends. True friends that knows how to protect you from hurt instead of causing you hurt. True friends who understands although i look like it does not matter to me but it hurts me deeply. True friends who understand that even if i do not go around telling people what hateful things the person has done to me but based on what you know about me that for me to hate someone the person must have done something really really bad to me.
It is at times like this when I wish i was back in NZ. When i do not need to face such things. When i can just hang out with people i love. When i can talk to 'uncle agony' and his sidekick.
But of course i cant be back in NZ anytijme soon so i guess i just have to surround myself with people who loves me. I need a hug.
posted by snoozegal @ 2:41 PM
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