Snoozegal

Tracking my recovery from my jaw operation- Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 & Day 4

1 st june Admitted to hospital.

Supposed to check in at 130 but only arrived at 145 and yet we were told that there were no beds available !!! Horrors! Never knew the hospital was such a hot place to be at haha. Had to wait till 330 till my bed was ready. Meanwhile during the loooooong wait, my anathesist called me when she culdn find me at the ward. Haha she must have thought i chickened out and fled the country hehe. My dad was still telling me i cul back out anytime i want until the very last minute. Anyway during the wait we went to the foodcourt at the hospital and wow the food there sucks big time and is more expensive somemore. I ordered popiah and yet when it came it was so soggy and it costs 1.70 somemore. Stupid hospital foodcourt.

Arrived at my ward and was a bit afraid cos of the aunties around me lucky i had my sis, dad, quan and mickey with me. The nurse explained some stuff and then asked me to change into the hospital pjs haha i boldly requested to contd wear my own clothes. Luckily i was allowed to at least for today but tml when i go for the operation i got to change liao. Phew cos the hospital pjs pattern is so distasteful haha with a little lace and all. Also i was not really a patient patient so did not want to get too into the mood hehe at least not yet.

Then we had to wait again, wait for my dental surgeon to come chat with me. Haha and when she finally arrived at 5++ pm she only chatted for like 10mins and left. My sis who was waiting to go buy her sports shoes at Queensway felt so cheated haha now i finally conclude hospital=waiting!

As my sis and dad left to buy shoes, I was served dinner which comprised of fish and cabbage with rice and a banana. i managed to finish all except the cabbage and rice. haha and of course i ordered takeaway hehe. Quan came back with Burger King's Hershley pie and a Whooper JR meal!! Hehe yummy yummy. Oh i forgot to add that i after 12am i was not supposed to eat or drink anymore so explains the pigging out.

My dad and sis came back to see me but left shortly after as there was not much to be done anyway. As the patients went to sleep at 830pm, me and quan went to the dayroom (Tv lounge) The tv was fixed at channel 8 which was fine since i wanted to watch channel 8 from 9pm-10pm but at 10pm i wanted to watch 'Da Chang Jing' on channel U!!! hehe so i went in search for a nurse. Initally the nurse was relcutant and said that she had to off the tv at 11pm and i was like yup i know i will watch only for one hr of channel U. Then she finally gave in and said but at 11pm i must come back and sleep which i gladly agreed. Haha Bossy bossy me!At 11pm i went back to bed and quan left after tucking me in. Plugging in my ipod i tried to sleep but guess i was a little scared and felt all alone so cried a little before i went to sleep. Drank my last bit of water at 1145pm.

Was woken up by a auntie wheezing loudly at 2am.But other than that i slept quite ok though woke up a couple of times more guess i wasnt used to sleeping at the hospital haha erm not guess i am sure i was not used to sleeping at the hospital.

2nd june Operation day

Woke up at 830am which is quite early considering that i always sleep till 10 or 11. But the aunties were all awake. They actually woke up at 630 when the nurse was going around taking blood pressure and temperature readings. Mum and dad came and shooed me out of bed to go bathe hehe enough lazying they said. During my bath a nurse came and called out to me, " Auntie Auntie are u ok in there?" Haha and when i said i was ok she must have been shocked at my young voice and asked me which ward i was from. Haha first time someone calls me auntie.

At 9++am , a nurse comes and hands me an operation gown to change into, saying that the doctor was waiting for me. In the toilet, i confidently put on the gown and while i was tying the many ribbons at the front a nurse calls out saying she will help me tie those ribbons. When i came out of the toilet, the nurse was like," oh no you have got it on the wrong way round". What an embarrassment. Anyway after the ribbons were tied at the back by the nurse and i was walking out of the toilet, she called me back again saying that the gown was too exposed at the back and that i had better wear my pjs bottom too and that not to worry she will 'protect' me the way back to my ward. A really funny nurse but i am glad she was funny if not the situation would be so embarrassing. There is something abt operation gowns that make you feel so vulnerable. I wonder is it because of the fact that it is a thin sheet held close by ribbons only. When i got back to the ward, i start to get nervous as i see the trolley bed all ready for me. Lying on the trolley bed, even without my specs, i culd feel everyone in the ward looking at me as i was wheeled out of the ward. I start getting scared as i am wheeled past through the corridors into lifts out of lifts. I could see my parents and quan hurrying along beside me. I wish someone cul hold my hand. Tears start to roll down. The nurse comforts me and says," dont cry the doctors will take good care of you." Finally i am wheeled into a room and my parents and quan are left outside. The room is so spacey and bright. I can hear someone saying, " where is your balloon oh no more" There must be a kid here and maybe that is the kid's mum. i wish i was a kid too so my mum would be allowed in here with me. i am left lying there alone trying to comfort myself and to stop crying but i just culdn stop. I was so scared. i did not know why i was there and what i was waiting for. Is this the room where the anathesist puts me to sleep? i have no idea. i make out two blurry nurses talking on my right. And i wonder why are they so calm. But then of course they are calm this is their job is just like me going to work as a cashier in the polyclinic. Anyway i am going crazy with anxiety that i am starting to have a conversation in my head. All the while i am trying to stop crying and wishing someone would come. Finally a nurse comes and checks my identity with me. She realises i am crying and came back with a wad of tissue papers saying dont cry k? Finally i am wheeled to the two nurses on my right and lifted to another trolley bed. All the while i am thinking why cant i just get down and climb onto the next bed myself it is not as if i am drugged or anything. Such lifting of me makes me feel like i am a super weak patient. I am scared and starts to cry again. As the two nurses pushes me down a dark corridor, one of them checks my identity again. I choked out my IC no. And the sound of my voice makes me feel even more scared. I am wheeled into a small room where there is lots of activity going on. Many nurses start checking on my identity. Finally i see my anathesist and feel a bit comforted at the familiar face. She checks with her in charge as to whether to put in the IV drip now. Her in charge replies to wheel me into the operation table and that she will do the IV drip there. I am scared i feel like asking if they can put in the iv drip after they have put me to sleep cos i am so scared of the pain. But i am just too terrified to speak. The anathesist in charge is so professional she seems cold. It seems as if to her, i am just another body to work on. Which makes me feel worse. I am transferred to the operating table and i remember staring up at the lights and thinking they look exactely like those on TV. Finally i see my dental surgeon and when she sees me crying. She comes stand on my right, holding my hand close to her and comforts me calling me not to be scared while the anathesist in charge is working on finding the vein to put the IV drip on my left. I am too relieved to have someone i know there comforting me that even when the IV drip entered it was tolerable as compared to my fear. Someone props me up and hands me a tissue, asking me to blow hard into it. Then they lay me on the table and someone asks the anathesist in charge something which prompted a sharp reply from her, " Do you want someone sticking a tube in your nose when you are awake?" I felt a bit of relief but also pitied the person who was scolded. A gas mask was put over my nose and i was told it was oxygen and to breathe normally. Then a voice said that they are going to put the anathesia and to contd breathing normally. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.Exhale. Inhale........... I was gone to dreamland.

When i woke up all groggy, i was lying in a small white room all alone. I did not dare move a muscle. A nurse comes put a tube up my nose sucking what i could not see. i am left alone again. i hear an auntie groaning. Nurses shouting auntie auntie you cannot get up. The nurses start sounding irritated. The auntie's groans get louder. I start getting frightened. Feeling like shouting can someone get me out of here. Finally what seemed like forever i feel the bed being wheeled. Then all of a sudden i felt like puking. But with my mouth all tied up i culdn open my mouth to puke and the puke just dripped out. I recoiled in horror when i saw what i had puked. I had puked blood. I start crying.

When i am wheeled out of the place, i see my parents and quan. I tried to lift my hand wishing someone would hold my hand. i think quan finally did. i cant remember i was too groggy. While waiting for the lift, i see my dad turn away for a while. i think the sight of me must have upset him. i feel sad myself. Finally i reach my high dependency ward, two china nurses comes to transfer me to the bed and change my clothes. I think it must have been soiled by my blood. i culd hear the inexperience of one of the nurses in their conversation. As they moved me, it hurt. I felt like screaming "no dont touch me".

Finally i was all changed and as the curtains were drawn back, i culd see my parents and quan standing around my bed. I motioned to hold my mum's hand and from her hand, i drew comfort. I must have looked a mess with the IV drip on my left arm, a tube running from my stomach out thru my nose, tubes running out from my mouth making my throat so sore, a urinary tube which i dont remem if i ever did use it but i remem controlling my bladder so i wont use it. There was a sensor thing clipped to my finger on the right which measured my oxygen level and heartbeat. And on my right arm, the blood pressure guage took my blood pressure at intervals. I culdn breathe very well and the nurses used a suction tube through my nose and throat to draw out the blood and phlegm whenever i ask for it.

Since i could not speak, all communication were done via me doodling on a paper. i knew that my handwriting was almost illegible as i was so groggy and i could feel my words running all over the board. It was a wonder anyone could read my handwriting.

It was extremely uncomfortable. With me drifting in and out of sleep, sometimes feeling unable to breathe. My throat felt so sore with the tubes in it. Suddenly i would have convulsions in my stomach and i would puke. Even if i had nothing to puke out. The nurse would then use the tube through my nose to suck out any stomach fluid till there was nothing to be sucked. But i still contd puking and I had to be given injections to stop the puking. Before all this i was so afraid of needles but i gladly welcomed the injections if it meant my stomach would stop its nonsense. My left arm with the IV drip felt so ever painful i did not dare move it at all. Once a nurse inserted a suction tube so deep into my nose i cringed.

In the night, i drifted in and out of sleep. i hated waking up cos everytime when i wake up i am conscious of how uncomfortable i am. Once when the nurse came to help me with the suction she told me to bear with it and that the tubes would most likely be coming out tml when the doctor comes. My heart soared. Each time when i woke up after that i wul be thinking i wonder what time is it now. Why isnt it daylight already. Oh i want it to be tml now.

Something really terrifying happened in the night. Alth my mum and quan had stayed back in the hospital they were not allowed to stay by my bedside. So i was all alone in the ward with the other patients. All the while i had managed to catch the nurse on their way to helping the other patients when i needed any suction. But this time as i laid in the dark there was no one, so i tried to push the nurse call button on my right. i pressed and waited many times but still no one came. Even though my left arm hurt immensely, i tried pressing for the nurse call button on the left and still no one came. I felt so scared. I thought if any serious thing shul happen now i cul die since i culdn call out for help at all. I tried hitting my sensor thingy against the bed to make some noise but still no one came. In my last desperate attempt, i kicked the board with my writing paper of the bed. It fell to the floor but still no one came. Finally i gave up and waited. After what seemed like forever, a nurse came to check up on other patients. i waved to get her attention and motioned that i pressed the nurse call button but no nurse came. Only then did the nurse realise that my nurse call button at the sides of my bed was spoilt and passed me something to press instead!! What the heck and it was supposed to be the high dependency ward! i was so frightened i asked for her to call my mum in. And my mum stayed with me thru the rest of the night. My mum said a beautiful thing to me as she stroked my hair, she said i looked pretty. i didnt really belive her but it was comforting to hear.

3rd June. Tubes gone. i must recover .

At 8++ am, medicine time. The medicine stinged as it went thru my IV drip. I puked again and again. An injection was adminitstered. My 2 dental surgeons and their assistant doctor came to check on me. I laid there all groggy but i had this burning qn. " When will the tubes be taken out?" I wrote. My dental surgeon said 10am, the assistant doct said no need so long, can be taken out at 930am. My heart danced. The tubes could be taken out. The doctors asked me to rate on a scale of one to ten the pain in my face and my left arm. I rated an 2 and an 8 respectively. They checked on my arm and realised my entire arm to be swollen. " The IV tube must be taken out and put in the right arm" I cringed when i heard it not the right arm. "If she can eat the medicine orally, then i think there is no need for the IV tube." Yes yes i felt like screaming. i will endure the bitterness of the medicine if it means taking out the damn IV tube and never putting it back again. After the doctors left, i waited for the clock to work its magic for it be 930am asap. At about 9++, nurses came to remove my nose tube, urinary tube and IV drip. Thinking abt how the nose tube was pulled out all the way from my stomach, is totally stomach wrenching. But when all the tubes less those in my throat were removed, i felt so much better.

They wheeled me down to the dental clinic at 930am where the assistant was supposed to remove the remaining tubes. I must have looked a mess with two little balls collecting what i think it was blood hanging out from my mouth. I just sat down in the wheelchair feeling so groggy. When i reached the clinic, the asst was not there yet and the nurse helped me up to take an x-ray. i held firmly to the hand rails and pushed myself up and out from the wheelchair.Suddenly staring right in front of me was a very small reflective surface or was it a mirror. i think there must have been a look of horror on my face cos the nurse asked me whether it was the first time i had looked at myself. i cant even remember the image now. i only remember thinking this cant be me. When the assistant doct arrived, the removal of the tubes were fast and he showed me how to gurgle my mouth using the mouthwash and feed myself using a syringe. He repeatedly told me it was now up to me to recover, try to go to the dayroom, walk around if u have energy, do not keep sleeping or lying down. he said we are going to aim for u to be discharged on sun. if u can show us everything is well and you can drink your medicine and drinks. SUN!!! Which is tml. Yeah i can get out soon. i must recover. i must let them discharge me tml. i must i must.

Returning back to the ward, i wasted no time. Initially i wanted to bathe cos i knew i would feel so much better after i bathed but the nurse told me i cul bathe after i got moved to the normal ward and i wul have a lot of time to bathe. So i decided to walk around. With quan helping me, i slowly walked to the dayroom. At the dayroom, i slowly walked back and forth in the dayroom. Stopping to sit and rest after i had made one complete circle of the room.My sis came to inform me that i had been moved to another ward. When we went to the new ward, my sis helped me to bathe. After the bathe i felt so much better. I stood in front of the toilet mirror, taking in the freakish swollen face, the stretch marks at the corners of my mouth. I didnt look human at all.

Knowing my sis and quan had not had their lunch, i offered to go down with them to the foodcourt to eat. Luckily i had already packed a cap in my bag. So armed with a cap and mickey to hide my swollen face, we made our way down to the foodcourt. I cul see pple staring at me but i pressed on, bringing mickey closer to me. hoping that its ears proved enough coverage. we sat in the furtherest corner with me back facing the crowd. Luckily i survived the trip but came back to the ward feeling exhausted and with a headache.

I think that day i only had 1/2 cup of milk, 1/2 cup of milo, 1/4 cup of ensure milk and medicine with lots of barley. I cried while eating the medicine as it was so bitter. I spent most of the remaining day in the dayroom and my sis managed to ask the nurse to switch the channel from channelnews asia to channel U which was a blessing. In the dayroom, there were other people but they did not look at me wierdly or anything. I guess is cos it is in the hospital so me looking like this was normal. Everything was ok until some noisy malay kids came. They annoyed everyone by opening the dayroom door saying that "only patients allowed" in a ghostly voice then running away. Finally when they entered the room they looked at me and whispered and giggled. I consoled myself that they were just kids. That night was a sleepless night as my tummy ached constantly and i culdn breathe very well. My mum thought i had a fever but lucky i didnt. I was having lttle nose bleeds here and there. Once when i culdn breathe very well, i found out that there were large dried up clots of blood in my nose. Horrors. I cant wait to go home. At 6++ am, i asked my mum to helped me to bathe so i cul feel better. And again we waited till it was the doctor's rounds so i cul ask if they wul discharge me. i was so afraid they would not agree.

4th june I am discharged.

The doctor say i could be discharged!! And i need not wait till it was one pm ( the normal discharge time) . I cul go once i had gotten the medicine from the pharmacy. We left the hospital at abt 10am. I was so happy but so tired at the same time. The trip back home was horrible. As i sat in the car, i felt like i culdn breathe properly. And the sun was so shiny it was giving me a headache. Finally we reached home. When we walked from the basement to the lifts, there was a lift abt to close, my mum rushed to it wanting to take the lift filled with pple. i adamantly stood facing another lift waiting for it to come , back facing my mum even though my mum was calling out to me. I refuse to take a lift with other people in it. I do not want to meet people. I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

Back home, i drank a whole cup of milo and went to sleep. Woke up and drank 1/2 a cup of ensure milk, slept, watched some tv. When it was time for bed, i wrote to my sis when my parents were not around, that i felt so weak and i felt like i cul never recover and i regretted doing the op. Later on my dad saw what i wrote and told me that i shul never regret and that i must try to eat more even though i dont like the taste of the milk. i must eat so i will get strong. Then on when i was fed with the ensure milk, i chanted to myself this " i must eat so i will get strong", forcing myself to drink more. Luckily my mum bought the powder form of ensure milk and we realised that is was so much yummier than the instant version. Lucky me cos seriously i cul not stand to drink one whole cup of instant ensure milk no matter how much i pressed on. The most i cul drink was 1/2 a cup.

5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th..... On the road to recovery.

posted by snoozegal @ 5:00 PM 4 Comments